


the only one brave enough

by swaeger (machogwapito)



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: ?????, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Spin the Bottle, what the hell else do i tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2756084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machogwapito/pseuds/swaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ron's used to being kissed by Chris on his birthday, but not like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the only one brave enough

**Author's Note:**

> written for a [prompt](http://treemurderer.tumblr.com/post/104177834738/i-wanna-do-some-drabbles-i-ship-you-with) on tumblr, as per usual.

Birthday kisses from Chris Traeger have become something like tradition. They’re all the same, of course—Chris grabs Ron’s face, leans in, and leaves a big smooch on his lips, loud and chaste and tasting vaguely of some disgusting health drink. Ron isn’t even particularly perturbed by it any more. He just remembers to bring a bottle of barbecue sauce with him to work every sixth of May just so he can wash away the taste of what might be asparagus and beets from his lips and moustache.

He’s not sure whose idea it is that today they actually celebrate Ron’s birthday—in a quiet, simple manner, thankfully. The department (plus Ben and Ann and Chris, as expected) all sit at the circular table, and they eat doughnuts together in silence. It’s calm and it’s beautiful. Ron doesn’t actually mind up until Andy suggests a ‘fun game with Ron’s empty barbecue sauce bottle’.

April gets this look in her eyes that makes Ron feel like he should be praying. Tom starts laughing and high-fives Donna. Ben and Leslie share a look, Ann and Chris do the same, and Ron refuses to turn his head in fear that his own eyes will meet Jerry’s.

The game is called spin the bottle, and everyone gets a turn. Except Jerry, of course. But that’s because of Gayle. Not because nobody wants to kiss him, or anything (according to Leslie herself).

Ron makes sure to glare particularly angrily every time the bottle goes his way, and it’s the only way he manages to worm his way out. So far he’s seen Chris kiss Ben, April shove her tongue down Donna’s throat, and Andy give Leslie what might be a check-up for tonsillitis with his mouth. Tom snags a kiss from Ann, too. She makes sure to hit him afterwards.

So many different permutations of his department end up kissing everyone else, and by the end of it (which is only deemed the end because Tom refused to kiss Ben and ‘catch the nerd’), everyone’s been significantly violated save Ron and Jerry. Jerry, however, has fallen asleep and slid to the floor. Nobody’s really tried to help him up.

It’s Leslie who says, “Ron deserves a kiss, too!”

It’s Tom who goes, “But who would be dumb enough to kiss Roooooon?”

And it’s Andy, in a fit of betrayal, who says, “Chris kisses him every year.”

Ron would freeze up if it weren’t so uncharacteristic of him.

He hates Chris because he’s such a good sport. He hates Chris because Chris comes forward and takes Leslie’s place where she sits to Ron’s left and then looks at him with a bright grin on his face without any argument. Ron looks out of the corner of his eye and sees no camera phones in sight, but everyone is staring.

"No," is his response.

And Chris—that god damn, son of a bitch ray of sunshine—starts to laugh.

Ron hates Chris’ laugh most. He hates how it twists him and turns him spineless and makes him black out and fall prey to whatever it is the man wants of him.

And when he comes back to himself, he’s tugged Chris onto his lap and their tongues are touching and rubbing and he’s got a killer grip on the other man’s hair.

Somewhere he can hear Andy screaming and April joining in with him and Tom yelling about Facebook and Donna laughing and Ben repeatedly calling Leslie’s name to wake her up. But it all turns to water as he flicks his tongue against Chris’ own and the only sound he can really focus on is the muted sound of pleasure that comes from the very back of Chris’ throat. Chris’s hands are on his cheeks, just like they always are, and Ron snarls lowly and stops only because he can hear Chris’ breathing turn laboured.

He pulls away and realises he’s panting, too.

Both he and Chris stare at each other a long while before Ann has to take Chris away and check his pulse to make sure it hasn’t gone past fifty beats per minute.

The day goes relatively smoothly afterwards. Ron smashes Tom’s cellphone with the heel of his shoe to destroy all physical evidence, the doughnuts are finished, and April’s managed to calm Andy down enough for him to stop giggling every time he looks at either Ron or Chris. Ann has to leave for her night shift and Leslie fans herself for about an hour, but all in all, things are back to normal.

After clean up, they all part on amicable terms—but when Ron lifts his head from the trash can after throwing the box of doughnuts away, Chris is looking at him.

And Chris is licking his upper lip.

Ron blacks out the moment Chris starts to grin and chuckle.


End file.
